Dreams and the Future
1. What are some of the highest-valued things on your bucket list?
2. Do you want kids? If so, what are some of the values you want to instill in them?
3. Where is a place you’ve always wanted to travel?
4. What is something you want to do together that we haven’t yet tackled?
5. Have you ever wanted to move anywhere else?
6. If you could gain one quality or ability, what would it be?
7. How do you see the future individually and collectively as a couple?
8. What does financial partnership mean to you, and how would you like to divide financial responsibility in a relationship?
9. What things do you look forward to each day?
10. How do you foresee us resolving our most persistent problems?
11. What are your goals for this relationship?
12. What are you hoping to learn in the coming year?
13. Is there anything you’re hesitant to accomplish that I can help you with?
14. What’s the one thing you most want to achieve before you die?
15. Where do you see yourself settling down?
16. What is your measure for a happy or satisfying life?
17. Which things or activities make you feel most alive?
18. Is your career an important part of your identity? If not, what is?
19. As a child, what did you want to grow up to be?
20. How closely is your current life aligned with the life you always dreamt of for yourself?
21. Are there any languages you’d like to learn?
22. Do you believe in manifesting? If so, what are you currently manifesting for yourself?
23. At what age do you hope to retire? What do you envision retirement to look like?
Favorites
24. What is your favorite film?
25. What was your favorite class in school?
26. What is your favorite book?
27. What is your favorite childhood memory?
28. What is your favorite memory of our relationship?
29. What is your favorite thing about yourself?
30. What is your favorite thing about me?
31. What is your favorite place?
32. What was your favorite date we’ve had?
33. What is your favorite TV show?
34. What is your favorite karaoke song?
35. What is your favorite way to communicate?
36. What’s your favorite sport?
37. Who is your favorite actor?
38. Do you have a favorite designer?
39. What is your favorite type of cuisine?
40. What is your favorite way to spend your weekends?
41. What is your favorite kind of pasta?
42. What is your favorite restaurant in your neighborhood?
43. What is your favorite dish to cook?
44. What is your favorite podcast?
45. What is your favorite hobby?
46. Who was your favorite teacher growing up? Why?
Sex and Romance
47. How do you define romance?
48. What specific activities make you feel like your romantic needs are met?
49. How important is physical intimacy to you?
50. Are there sexual experiences you’d like to have or things you’d like to try that we haven’t tried yet?
51. What is your favorite type of nonsexual physical intimacy, and are you satisfied with the frequency you receive it?
52. What was your first sexual experience?
53. When was the first time you fell in love?
54. What are the things you value most from the beginning of our relationship?
55. When did you first know you wanted to be in a relationship with me?
56. Are you satisfied with our chemistry and intimacy?
57. In which situations do you feel most secure in our relationship?
58. What makes you feel most loved?
59. What is your favorite meal to share for a date night?
60. What physical and emotional gestures do you appreciate most?
61. What song do you think of when you think of me?
62. What is the main thing that you think makes a relationship last?
63. What experiences and situations, whether yours or someone else’s, inspired your philosophy of love?
64. Do you want monogamy, and if so, how do you define it? What other relationship styles are you interested in or would you consider?
65. How much time together versus time apart do you generally need and want?
66. Generally, what are your thoughts on jealousy? What’s the best way to communicate with you about feelings of jealousy if and when they come up?
67. How important is alone time to you?
68. Are you interested in cohabitating? If not, what would your ideal living situation be?
69. Do you have any kinks you’d like to discuss? How can we respectfully incorporate them into our physical relationship?
70. Do you have any unresolved feelings for other people that you’d like to discuss? If so, how can I properly hold space for you and those feelings?
71. Whether it be a movie, a show, or a book, what’s your favorite love story? Why?
72. What do you find to be the most romantic love song? What about it moves you?
73. Is there an early sexual encounter of ours that you would like to re-create?
74. What is your ideal date-night itinerary?
75. What was a time in our relationship when I made you feel truly loved?
Personal
76. What is the extent of your religious ideology, if any?
77. Is there anything you would change about yourself?
78. What has helped shape your current political stance and principles?
79. What are some of the things that you are most grateful for?
80. When was the last time you cried?
81. What does a perfect day look like to you?
82. Are there any people, from friends to relatives, you want to get closer to? Why?
83. Do you trust me?
84. Are there any conflicts that we’ve had in the past that you don’t feel are wholly resolved yet?
85. Which family member did you admire most when you were young?
86. What is one thing you’ve appreciated in this past week?
87. What is one opportunity where I could have supported you better?
88. What does a balanced relationship look like to you?
89. What is your idea of a healthy relationship?
90. How often do you think it’s important to have these deep-dive conversations?
91. Is there anything about me that you don’t currently know but are curious about?
92. Do you think that we should share a bank account?
93. Which of your interests are central to your identity?
94. Do you enjoy self-care practices? Why or why not?
95. Do you go to therapy? Are you interested in exploring couples therapy together?
96. What is one thing about yourself you would like to work on over the next year? How can I support you in that endeavor?
97. What’s your greatest fear?
98. When you’re feeling low, what do you do to feel better? How can I help?
99. What’s your attachment style?
100. What, if anything, do you consider to be a deal-breaker in relationships?
